Skulduggery Pleasant Spoof: Skulduggry Discovers Angry Birds
by ValkyrieCain4Ever
Summary: This is what happens when Valkyrie introduces Angry Birds to Skulduggery! Please comment if you like!


Valkyrie Cain and Skulduggery Pleasant were on an eight hour drive to their next case, and Valkyrie got bored so she took out her phone and started to play Angry Birds.

What's that? Asked Skulduggery.

Angry Birds, replied Valkyrie.

What's Angry Bird's?

You don't know about Angry Birds?

Skulduggery shook his head.

Angry Birds is about some birds who are angry.

Why are they angry?

Because some pigs stole their eggs.

Why did the pigs steal their eggs? Aren't they happy with their slop?

Apparently not.

Can I play?

WHAT?! SKULDUGGERY YOU'RE DRIVING!

So?

SO?! DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE?!

Well… if you're dead you can't stop me from playing on your phone.

I might even look at your personal videos and pictures. Valkyrie stared at him in shock.

Valkyrie growled and said if you do that, I swear I will come back from the dead and kick your butt personaly.

I would like to see you try.

Suddenly Skulduggery swerved right into the path of another vehicle as if he was going to hit it, then swerved back onto the right lane. He started to laugh when he saw Valkyries terrified face.

You know, Valkyrie said as Skulduggery stopped laughing, there is a way to play Angry Birds without endangering the life of your partner.

Really?

Yeah, you go to the App Store and buy it.

What's the App Store?

Valkyrie explained what the app store was.

Ooohhhh… Skulduggery said obviously intrigued. I want to buy it right now. He said as he pulled over to the side of the road.

Valkyrie face palmed. Skulduggery, don't you think we should keep driving? It's already one'o clock in the afternoon, and there is still a seven hour drive left.

Skulduggery ignored her and said disappointedly, hey, there's no wifi!

Valkyrie sighed in relief.

Suddenly Skulduggery said, hey look at that build board, it says that there is a coffee shop 3 miles off exit 13. And it has free wifi!

Wait, exit 13 is 30 minutes out of the way! Said Valkyrie.

So?

SO?! What is more important to you, being able to play Angry Birds on your phone, or the fate of the world?

Skulduggery thought hard for a few minutes, then said as he pulled back onto the road, being able to play Angry Birds on my phone, it was no contest.

Valkyrie sighed. And said, so, after you buy Angry Birds we can keep going.

Nope!

WHAT?! WHY?!

Because, I want to pass every level and get three stars on them to.

Valkyrie groaned as they arrived at the coffee shop. Skulduggery took out his phone and turned it on.

At least he doesn't know about the other Angry Birds apps, mumbled Valkyrie.

Wait, there are other Angry Birds apps to? Skulduggery said, over hearing her mumbling.

Crap, she thought.

THREE HOURS LATER…..

Can we go now? Moaned Valkyrie.

No.

Moan…

THAT NIGHT….

Skulduggery, it's already midnight, time to go to sleep, said Valkyrie climbing into the back seat of the Bently.

Skulduggery didn't respond, he was to engrossed in the game to listen.

Valkyrie just rolled her eyes and sighed. Fine then, she said as she settled down and fell asleep.

THE NEXT DAY…..

Valkyrie woke up and groaned and rolled over. But sadly, when she rolled over, she fell off the seat and squealed.

When she got back up, she noticed Skulduggery still playing Angry Birds.

Suddenly Valkyrie snapped…..

OKAY THAT IS IT!

Skulduggery get into my seat.

Okay, said Skulduggery moving over into the passenger seat.

Valkyrie got into the driver's seat and turned on the engine and stepped on the gas. She yelped as they shot onto the road.

Skulduggery looked up and yelled above the roar of the engine, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

DRIVING!

They shot around corner and turned onto the highway. PULL OVER! Skulduggery said loudly.

I CAN'T, WE'RE ON THE HIGHWAY!

PULL ONTO THAT ROAD! Skulduggery said pointing at a quiet street.

WHAT ROAD?!

THAT ONE!

WHAT ONE?!

THE ONE UP AHEAD ON THE LEFT!

STOP YELLING!

I CAN'T STOP YELLING, YOU WON'T HEAR ME!

WHAT ROAD?!

WE'RE ABOUT TO PASS IT!

I CAN'T SEE IN FRONT OF THE CAR!

OH, GIVE ME THE WHEEL ALREADY! He yelled as he reached over and grabbed the wheel. But Valkyrie, on instinct yanked the wheel the other way, just in time to turn onto the quiet street.

Valkyrie stomped on the brake and they stopped.

They sat there for a few minutes, she was breathing hard and she gulped and looked at Skulduggery. Skulduggery looked at her.

So…. she said. That happened.

You, are never allowed to drive this Bently ever again, he said.

Ok.

Get out.

Valkyrie got as Skulduggery got out, they switched places. As soon as Valkyrie got in, Skulduggery said, seat belt.

As she buckled, she noticed something in between the seats. Valkyrie reached down and picked it up.

It was Skulduggery's phone.

Immediately she put the phone into her bag before Skulduggery saw his phone.

I'm going to keep this until we get back home so Skulduggery won't start playing Angry Birds again she thought as they continued to drive.

And if he asks, I'll tell him it fell out of the car and a dog ate it.


End file.
